'The Host Chapter 15: Guarded\r'

'When I came to, on that breaker point was no(prenominal)disorientation. I knew exactly where I was, roughly speaking, and I kept my eyes closed and my ventilating constitution level(p). I es asseverate to learn as practic nonwithstandingy as I could or so my exact situation with knocked kayoed(p) heavy(p) outdoor(a) the fact that I was conscious again.\r\nI was hungry. My tolerate up k nonted and clenched and do violent noises. I doubted these noises would betray me-I was positive(predicate) it had god and complained as I slept.\r\nMy head ached fiercely. It was unrealizable to know how much of this was from fatigue and how much was from the knocks Id return keyn.\r\nI was lying on a rough sur eccentric. It was rough and… pocked. It was not flat, further oddly curved, as though I was lying in a modify wheel. It was not comfortable. My back and hips throbbed from being curled into this position. That pain was credibly what had woken me; I matt-up far fr om heartsea find oneselfd.\r\nIt was darkening-I could tell that without opening my eyes. not pitch-black, tho truly dark.\r\nThe variant was withal mustier than before-humid and corroded, with a peculiar acrid sting that sympathisemed to cling to the back of my throat. The temperature was cooler than it had been in the desert, and the incongruous moisture do it al more(prenominal) or less as uncomfortable. I was sweating again, the piss Jeb had given me finding its mien out through my pores.\r\nI could take heed my eupnoeic echo back to me from a some feet outdoor(a). It could be that I was merely close to ane w altogether, unless I guessed that I was in a very small space. I listened as hard as I could, and it get red inked uniform my breathing echoed back from the different array as well.\r\nKnowing that I was probably in cadence fewwhere in the cavern system Jeb had brought me to, I was fairly incontestable what I would stick out when I opened my eyes. I must be in some small great deal in the pityen, dark purple brown and riddled with holes like cheese.\r\nIt was silent except for the sounds my frame made. algophobic(predicate) to open my eyes, I relied on my ears, push harder and harder against the conquer. I couldnt hear any wizard else, and this made no sense. They wouldnt keep back left me without a warden, would they? Uncle Jeb and his omnipresent rifle, or someone less sympathetic. To communicate me alone… that wouldnt be in purpose with their bruta illuminey, their immanent fear and hatred of what I was.\r\nUnless…\r\nI tried to swal gloomy, but consternation closed my throat. They wouldnt leave me alone. non unless they belief I was dead, or had made legitimate that I would be. non unless there were places in these caves that no one came back from.\r\nThe picture Id been forming of my sur polishings shifted dizzyingly in my head. I saying myself now at the bottom of a deep shaft or walled into a cramped tomb. My breathing sped up, tasting the air for staleness, for some sign that my oxygen was footrace paltry. The muscles around my lungs pulled outward, filling with air for the cry (out) that was on the focal point. I clenched my teething to keep it from escaping.\r\nSharp and close, something grated across the commonwealth beside my head.\r\nI shrieked, and the sound of it was piercing in the small space. My eyes flew open. I jerked out-of-door from the sinister noise, throwing myself against a jagged list wall. My pass bys swung up to protect my present as my head thunked painfully against the low ceiling.\r\nA dim white illume the perfectly round exit to the critical eruct of a cave I was curled in. Jareds face was half(a) lit as he leaned into the opening, one artillery evanesceing toward me. His lips were tight with anger. A mineral vein in his forehead pulsed as he watched my pan outicked reaction.\r\nHe didnt move; he just stared furi ously while my titty restarted and my breathing unconstipateded out. I met his glare, remembering how alleviate he had always been-like a apparition when he wanted. No wonder I hadnt heard him sitting guard exterior my cell.\r\n scarcely I had heard something. As I remembered that, Jared shoved his extended arm closer, and the jolty noise repeated. I looked down. At my feet was a broken sheet of plastic service as a tray. And on it…\r\nI lunged for the open bottle of water. I was just now aware that Jareds mouth twisted with push back as I jerked the bottle to my lips. I was sure that would bother me later, but all I contendd about now was the water. I wondered if ever in my life I would take the liquid for granted again. ha secondmentuated that my life was not likely to be pro doggeded here, the answer was probably no.\r\nJared had disappeared, back through the circular entry. I could see a piece of his subdivision and nothing more than. The dull light came from someplace beside him. It was an artificial bluish color.\r\nId gulped half the water down when a new aromatise caught my attention, informing me that water was not the totally gift. I looked down at the tray again.\r\nFood. They were sustenance me?\r\nIt was the shekels-a dark, unevenly shaped roll-that I smelled first, but there was also a bowl of some clear liquid with the tone of onions. As I leaned closer, I could see darker chunks on the bottom. Beside this were three stubby washcloth tubes. I guessed they were vegetables, but I didnt know the variety.\r\nIt took only seconds for me to get through these discoveries, but even in that short time, my stomach nigh jumped through my mouth trying to reach the food.\r\nI ripped into the bread. It was very dense, studded with whole-grain kernels that caught in my teeth. The texture was gritty, but the flavor was terrifically rich. I couldnt remember anything tasting more delicious to me, not even my mushed-up Twinkies. My twaddle worked as fast as it could, but I swallowed most of the sense of enjoys of tough bread half- chattered. I could hear each mouthful reach my stomach with a gurgle. It didnt regain as good as I view it would. Too long empty, my stomach reacted to the food with discomfort.\r\nI ignored that and travel on to the liquid-it was soup. This went down easier. Aside from the onions Id smelled, the taste was mild. The green chunks were soft and spongy. I drank it bully from the bowl and wished the bowl were deeper. I tipped it back to make sure Id gotten every drop.\r\nThe w bumblee vegetables were crunchy in texture, woody in taste. Some kind of root. They werent as firm as the soup or as tasty as the bread, but I was grateful for their bulk. I wasnt full-not close-and I probably would do started on the tray next if I sight Id be able to chew through it.\r\nIt didnt occur to me until I was entire that they shouldnt be feeding me. Not unless Jared had alienated the confront ation with the doctor. Though why would Jared be my guard if that were the case?\r\nI slid the tray outdoor(a) when it was empty, cringing at the noise it made. I stayed pressed against the back wall of my bubble as Jared reached in to retrieve it. This time he didnt look at me.\r\nâ€Å"thank you,” I whispered as he disappeared again. He utter nothing; there was no change in his face. fifty-fifty the bit of his sleeve did not march this time, but I was sure he was there.\r\nI cant believe he hit me, Melanie mused, her thought incredulous rather than resentful. She was not over the surprise of it yet. I hadnt been strike in the first place. Of course he had hit me.\r\nI wondered where you were, I answered. It would be poor manners to get me into this muckle and whence abandon me.\r\nShe ignored my sham tone. I wouldnt have thought hed be able to do it, no depend what. I dont sound score I could hit him.\r\nSure you could. If hed come at you with meditative eyes, youd have done the same. Youre naturally violent. I remembered her daydreams of strangling the Seeker. That seemed like months ago, though I knew it was only days. It would make sense if it had been longer. It ought to take time to get oneself stuck in such(prenominal) a disastrous mire as the one I was in now.\r\nMelanie tried to consider it impartially. I dont hypothesise so. Not Jared… and Jamie, theres no way I could appal Jamie, even if he was… She trailed off, hating that line of thought.\r\nI considered this and found it true. Even if the child had come something or someone else, neither she nor I could ever raise a hand to him.\r\nThats different. Youre like… a mother. Mothers are ill-considered here. Too many emotions involved.\r\nMotherhood is always emotional-even for you souls.\r\nI didnt answer that.\r\nWhat do you depend is going to happen now?\r\nYoure the estimable on manhood, I reminded her. Its probably not a good thing that theyre giving m e food. I can study of only one reason theyd want me strong.\r\nThe few specifics I remembered of historical human brutalities snarled in my head with the stories in the honest-to-goodness newspaper wed read the other day. Fire-that was a bad one. Melanie had burned all the fingerprints off her right hand once in a stupid accident, grabbing a pan she hadnt realized was hot. I remembered how the pain had surprise her-it was so unexpectedly sharp and demanding.\r\nIt was just an accident, though. Quickly treated with ice, salves, medicine. No one had done it on purpose, continued on from the first sickening pain, drawing it out longer and longer…\r\nId never lived on a planet where such atrocities could happen, even before the souls came. This place was truly the highest and the net of all worlds-the most beautiful senses, the most exquisite emotions… the most antheralvolent desires, the darkest deeds. mayhap it was meant to be so. Perhaps without the lows, the highs could not be reached. Were the souls the exception to that rule? Could they have the light without the darkness of this world?\r\nI… felt up something when he hit you, Melanie interrupted. The voice communication came slowly, one by one, as if she didnt want to hazard them.\r\n I felt something, too. It was amazing how natural it was to use sarcasm now, after spending so much time with Melanie. Hes got sort of a backhand, doesnt he?\r\nThats not what I meant. I mean… She hesitated for a long moment, and then the rest of the words came in a mission. I thought it was all me-the way we feel about him. I thought I was… in get over of that.\r\nThe thoughts behind her words were clearer than the words themselves.\r\nYou thought you were able to bring me here because you wanted it so much. That you were controlling me instead of the other way around. I tried not to be annoyed. You thought you were manipulating me.\r\nYes. The chagrin in her tone was not because I was upset, but because she did not like being wrong. notwithstanding…\r\nI waited.\r\nIt came in a rush once more. Youre in fare with him, too, distributively from me. It feels different from the way I feel. Other. I didnt see that until he was there with us, until you byword him for the first time. How did that happen? How does a three-inch-long wrench fall in love with a human being?\r\nWorm?\r\nSorry. I guess you sort of have… limbs.\r\nNot unfeignedly. Theyre more like antennae. And Im quite a bit longer than three inches when theyre extended.\r\nMy point is, hes not your species.\r\nMy body is human, I told her. date Im attached to it, Im human, too. And the way you see Jared in your memories… Well, its all your fault.\r\nShe considered that for a moment. She didnt like it much.\r\nSo if you had gone to Tucson and gotten a new body, you wouldnt love him anymore now?\r\nI really, really hope thats true.\r\nNeither of us was skilful with my answer. I lea ned my head against the top of my knees. Melanie changed the subject.\r\nAt least Jamie is safe. I knew Jared would take care of him. If I had to leave him, I couldnt have left him in better transfer… I wish I could see him.\r\nIm not asking that! I cringed at the thought of the response that request would receive.\r\nAt the same time, I yearned to see the boys face for myself. I wanted to be sure that he was really here, really safe-that they were feeding him and caring for him the way Melanie never could again. The way I, mother to no one, wanted to care for him. Did he have someone to blab out to him at night? To tell him stories? Would this new, angry Jared think of little things like that? Did he have someone to curl up against when he was frightened?\r\nDo you think they will tell him that Im here? Melanie asked.\r\nWould that jock or hurt him? I asked back.\r\nHer thought was a whisper. I dont know… I wish I could tell him that I kept my promise.\r\nYou certain ly did. I agitate my head, amazed. No one can say that you didnt come back, just like always.\r\nthank for that. Her voice was faint. I couldnt tell if she meant for my words now, or if she meant the bigger picture, bringing her here.\r\nI was suddenly exhausted, and I could feel that she was, too. now that my stomach had settled a bit and felt almost halfway full, the rest of my pains were not sharp seemly to keep me awake. I hesitated before moving, afraid to make any noise, but my body wanted to uncurl and stretch out. I did so as silently as I could, trying to find a piece of the bubble long becoming for me. Finally, I had to stick my feet almost out the round opening. I didnt like doing it, in a bad way(p) that Jared would hear the movement close to him and think I was trying to escape, but he didnt react in any way. I pillowed the good side of my face against my arm, tried to ignore the way the curve of the storey cramped my spine, and closed my eyes.\r\nI think I slept, but if I did, it wasnt deeply. The sound of footsteps was still very far away when I came fully awake.\r\nThis time I opened my eyes at once. goose egg had changed-I still could see the dull pitiful light through the round hole; I still could not see if Jared was outside it. Someone was coming this way-it was well-situated to hear that the footsteps were coming closer. I pulled my legs away from the opening, moving as quietly as I could, and curled up against the back wall again. I would have care to be able to stand; it would have made me feel less vulnerable, more prepared to face whatever was coming. The low ceiling of the cave bubble would barely have allowed me to kneel.\r\nThere was a insolent of movement outside my prison. I see part of Jareds foot as he rose silently to his feet.\r\nâ€Å"Ah. Here you are,” a man said. The words were so trumpet-like after all the empty silence that I jumped. I recognized the voice. wholeness of the brothers Id seen in the dese rt-the one with the machete, Kyle.\r\nJared didnt speak.\r\nâ€Å"Were not going to allow this, Jared.” It was a different speaker, a more reasonable voice. Probably the young brother, Ian. The brothers voices were very similar-or they would have been, if Kyle werent always half shouting, his tone always twisted with anger. â€Å"Weve all lost somebody-hell, weve all lost everybody. only when this is ridiculous.”\r\nâ€Å"If you wont let Doc have it, then its got to die,” Kyle added, his voice a growl.\r\nâ€Å"You cant keep it prisoner here,” Ian continued. â€Å"Eventually, it will escape and well all be exposed.”\r\nJared didnt speak, but he took one side step that put him directly in front of the opening to my cell.\r\nMy heart manage hard and fast as I beneathstood what the brothers were saying. Jared had won. I was not to be tortured. I was not to be killed-not immediately, anyway. Jared was retentivity me prisoner.\r\nIt seemed a beauti ful word under the circumstances.\r\nI told you he would protect us.\r\nâ€Å"Dont make this difficult, Jared,” said a new male voice I didnt recognize. â€Å"It has to be done.”\r\nJared said nothing.\r\nâ€Å"We dont want to hurt you, Jared. Were all brothers here. But we will if you make us.” There was no bluff in Kyles tone. â€Å"Move aside.”\r\nJared stood rock still.\r\nMy heart started thumping faster than before, tug against my ribs so hard that the hammering disrupt the rhythm of my lungs, made it difficult to breathe. Melanie was disable with fear, unable to think in reproducible words.\r\nThey were going to hurt him. Those lunatic humans were going to attack one of their own.\r\nâ€Å"Jared… please,” Ian said.\r\nJared didnt answer.\r\nA heavy footfall-a lunge-and the sound of something heavy contact something solid. A gasp, a choking gurgle â€\r\nâ€Å"No!” I cried, and launched myself through the round hole.\r\n'